It's been a super morning.
It started out with waking up early. Enough cannot be said about this. Is there anyone left on the planet who doesn't know that I am not a morning person? Okay, probably, because despite my self-absorption, I am not the actual center of the universe.
I tried to explain this to my ex once. I tried to tell him that most of the time, I understood that the world didn't revolve around me, but now and then, I was the Center Of The F___ Universe. My dear friends came up with the term COTFU for this very reason. Acronym. You knew what I meant. One of these friends, a lovely woman named Becky, was a few days away from getting married and was particularly delighted in the acronym. We considered getting t-shirts made.
I worked this morning, and in a lab I don't normally work. The computer was fussy. The printer wouldn't print. The programs ran slow. The default settings were reinstated rather than those settings that apply to my current location. My coworker was late. There was a line of patients for the lab when the doors were opened. And the fifth person in line asked me, in such a delightful tone, "How long is this going to take? Well, I have be somewhere by 9:30."
How precious that was. She actually thought I cared. Wait. [sniff] I'm getting misty.
And strangely, she appeared to believe that she was, in fact, the COTFU. Golly. I had no idea. I'll tell you what, Oh Precious One, I'll toss aside all other aspects of my job. Those foolish patients who seem to think they are as valid as individuals as you are will be shoved out of the way. And we will race, hand-in-hand, to the drawing booth to see to YOUR care! Right now! RIGHT NOW!! Because YOU, oh YOU, glorious YOU are obviously...
You do, after all, have the t-shirt.