The Oscars do this to me.
I watch the awards being handed out and I see individual lives being changed. Oh, it's not like anyone's eliminating worldwide hunger, but still, it's a big deal for a lot of people. And it's great entertainment for the rest of us.
The outfits alone...!
So what would you say if you won an Oscar? Would you thank your parents? Your spouse? Your children? Would you mention your agent? Your drama teacher from high school? Every person you've ever met?
I'd like to thank the Academy for such an unbelievable honor. I'm absolutely positive that this is all a hideous mistake, however, and large men in dark suits and sunglasses will be by later to take away this little gold man. I shall say good night now as I will be leaving town as soon as I leave the stage. Good night, goodbye, God bless you all.