Monday, November 14, 2011


Last Thursday, Roommate and I went home for lunch. Actually, I was supposed to be done for the day, but coworker Tonya had a family emergency and I offered to work the full shift, so that meant I had to go back to work after lunch. Which I hate.

This is why I usually do not go home for lunch. I hate going back. Going in is hard enough, going back is almost unbearable. You understand.

Anyway. We walked through the door and I said, in a very uncharacteristic manner, "It's a bit cool in here, isn't it?" Roommate is usually the one complaining of being chilly, and usually, when it's 71 degrees inside. Seriously? Cold? Put on a sweater!

Roommate is fairly anti-sleeve. I have no idea why.

I checked the thermostat and the heat that the furnace should have been maintaining was a balmy 64. This is perfectly reasonable when we are at work and the dogs are snuggled in their kennels. With blankies and pillows.

Not that they're spoiled. Oh, no.

The room temperature reading, however, was a nippy 59. a little cold, even for me. So off I went to the basement to check on the furnace. The furnace, oil-guzzling old beast that it is, was silent and ice cold. Now I'm no heating-and-cooling expert, but I took that as a bad sign.

I know. I have a mind like a steel trap somedays, don't I?

I called the oil service company, or as I like to call them, the blood sucking bastards from hell, and shared with the nice lady [for a BSBFH] my theories on the current heating situation. Either we're out of oil---BSBFH felt this was unlikely, given computer records of spending gobs of money on this supply---or the furnace decided it needed a little holiday.

It has pulled this crap before.

This was Thursday and the very nice BSBFH informed me the soonest a technician could be over would be....Monday. Sadly, both Roommate and I work all day Mondays. How about Wednesday? I asked. No, unfortunately, some poor fool was getting a new oil furnace installed that day.

Seriously? With oil at $4.46 a gallon and average usage 3-5 gallons per day???? Okay. Sure.

We finally settled on Thursday. One full week after initial breakdown. Seriously looking forward to this.

Here's what I've learned in the last four days.

1. A snuggly dog in the bed is worth its weight in gold.
2. Pouring boiling water over one's hand instead of into the hot water bottle is not nearly as effective at warming one, despite the feeling of flames erupting on one's skin.
3. I am not anywhere near as cold-tolerant as I imagined. I thought I'd learned this lesson while dating the Canadian and spending a week in January in north central Alberta, but...there you go.
4. Hot tea really will only take you so far.
5. I would actually take an eco-friendly furnace over any piece of jewelry, up to and including an engagement ring. Although I imagine it would be harder to hide in a rose or dessert. And it would probably rule out a proposal at a restaurant unless one wished to have herniated waitstaff.
6. Infomercials on portable heating units that "save thousands and heat the whole house" can be intensely interesting.

Say it with me:



  1. Ack! Not nice at all.

    It's a balmy 34 right now with wind and the house is slightly toasty although youngest thinks if it's not the center of the sun warm, it ain't warm.

    Sorry you have to wait all that time. Hope it's a quick fix.

  2. I find it ironic you post this. Just this weekend my lovely, adoring, handy husband finally fixed the living room heater that has never worked in our home that we rent since we've moved in last september, yes in 2010. After freezing for a year (not including summer) using a portable heater, and him *ahem* "trying" to fix the pellet took him all but 5 minutes to make that little forced air heater work again. And the dog is very happy about it I must say.

    as I am also blocked from being able to comment on your darn blog....this is Kristin N.