Coworker Tonya just made a funny. As I was kvetching to her, stating that I didn't eat the damn apple, none of this CRAP is my fault and I am sick unto death of paying for other people's mistakes!!!!! and she asked if I'd discussed this with The Person In Power.
"Yes," I replied firmly and okay, a bit snappily.
"But in a way that..." she began and trailed off.
"What, do you think I could couch it in terms that might make a difference? That there's some way I could approach the Omnipotent Comedian that might affect the outcome?? In a way that the OC might not know what I was actually thinking??????!!!" Wearing my best are-you-kidding-or-just-delusional expression, I then performed an impression of myself. Well, me-as-an-incredibly-reasonable-and-diffident-person. Quit laughing. It could happen.
"Hey, look...coupla things I want to go over, if You have a minute...."
Pfft. A blind man could see through that. That approach out of my mouth has more holes than freaking macrame. And not the good, tight, not-stoned-in-the-70s macrame, because that's not really saying anything, is it?
My coworker was silent for a few moments. "Yeah," she said slowly. "I don't know why I said that."
And this is why we need a delete button.