Thursday, September 8, 2011

My Latest SLO

Darling one, as you know, I am an addict. Oh sure, most of my addictions are legal and not obviously life-threatening, but they are addictions all the same. I realize it. I own it.

And no, I'm not planning on giving them up. Quit bugging me.

Since the advent of Weight Watchers in my life, one of my addictions has suffered from neglect. Poor, poor baking. Oh, sure, I made carrot cake with double cream frosting for my dear neighbor's husband. And shortbread for my dog's water therapist. And another of my dog's water therapist's clients [need a flow chart for that connection?] is allergic to many things, so I've been baking bread for her. But other than that, not so much.

Hmm? Oh, the bread thing. Well, Courtney [easier to type than another of my dog's water therapist's clients, huh?] is allergic to:

  • glutens

  • eggs

  • dairy

  • tree nuts and

  • yeast.

Bread, as you can well imagine, is a bit of a trick for her. She told me the tale of forcing her husband to take a bite of the "bread" she bought at a specialty store, so he would understand the hell she's living in. Her words, not mine, but...yeah. She described it as tasting like layers of sandpaper, pressed together. So of course, I had to try and bake decent bread for her.

The last batch was really quite good. Good flavor, good texture. I believe she had success in slicing the bread, which can be a challenge with gluten-free baked goods. [No, really. Just ask Gluten-free Jen. She'll back me up. They crumble like a politician whose sex tapes have been discovered.] It was a fairly light bread, even though it lost some of its loft after cooling. Only problem?

It looked a

Apparently, the teff flour, when mixed into the recipe I modified and used, changes color. It was a nice, soft brown before the baking, like the faux wheat bread of the seventies and:

But after baking, the color resembled the lovely olive green of military camouflage. Not desert or winter camo, the regular kind.

Anyway. I told Courtney she should make a ham sandwich with it, so she's be eating...

...wait for it...

GREEN BREAD AND HAM!! Hahahahahahaha!!

What? Oh, come on. It was a little funny.

Fine. It wasn't my point, anyway.

My point is, I haven't been doing as much baking, whether out of self-preservation or the general craptastic nature of my summer, I do not know, but now I am being lured back to the fold. Ha! Fold!! As in, the gentle combination of ingredients! You know, like egg whites beaten into a meringue...added to cake...batter...?


You know, you're a tough crowd today.But look:
This little beauty is the picture attached to the most recent blog for someone named The Caked Crusader.

I think I love the Caked Crusader. I really do.

She has baking commandments. No, really. And she posts gorgeous pictures of mouth-watering cakes. And best of all?

She posts the recipes for these baked beauties.

Okay, the measurements are mostly in metric. I can cope with that. Okay, okay, she will occasionally use ingredients that are not easily found in my local grocery stores. This is why the Omnipotent Comedian gave us mail order via the Internet. And okay, she has used terminology common to British vernacular that I do not always understand, but baby, that's why I Google.

Cakes. In all their wondrous glory.

The baking addiction has returned.


  1. What I would like to know is as follows:

    Did your friend lick the bottom of the bowl?

    Did she happen to lick the spoon?

    If she was that desperate, then what did she have?

    Come on.

    You can do it.

    Wait for it.


  2. Yay for me! I can do some more taste testing!

  3. Could she eat that with a lean leg of lamb?

  4. Yes she COULD! She COULD! SPAM you AM!

  5. That carrot cake was fabulous. the best I've ever had and that is not an exaggeration. Your baking is a national treasure. I've not had any fresh bread from your kitchen, but can only imagine that it is awesome, even when colored green. It will be very popular on St Patricks day!!