No, seriously. Her baby is practically fresh-squeezed and mama is already back into size -2 jeans. Gah. These people are lucky I let them live.
Anyway, after catching a glimpse of her, I had to have a quick word with her. She was chatting with another lovely person, Kristin of reception fame herself, and I approached. Ever courteous, these ladies allowed me to interrupt and I said to this young lady these respectful and caring words:
The only reason I haven't knocked you down and stolen those shoes is they
wouldn't fit me.
What is it about shoes?
I have resisted their siren song for for far too long. So this is my plan.