Friday, February 3, 2012

How the game is played. I think.

Oh, the joy of the Mr. Right Now dating website continues. One charming gentleman posted a few questions on his profile for potential dates to answer and earn "extra points." Points. I'm not sure how the point system works. This is a scored game? I had no idea. Are there quarters? How long do they last? Can we call a time-out for consultations with coaches? How do we handle penalties?

And is this fellow the prize? The trophy?


Anyway. The guy posted questions. So I replied.

Okay, you asked questions in your profile and I cannot resist questions. Don't judge me. Be grateful you didn't ask about the air velocity of the laden swallow.

Anyway. Here goes:

1)Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
The act of holding our mouths open helps us hold our facial muscles still and our brows lifted sufficiently to avoid getting mascara on our faces and eyelids. If that happens, we have to take off ALL of our make-up and we won't be ready to go to dinner for at least another hour. Yeah. Suddenly, you WANT us to
open our mouths, don't you?

2) Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your bottom?
It IS possible. It's just not as fun. Or entertaining. And for some of us, it counts as "exercise."

3) If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then
what is baby oil made from?
Ha! Trick question. Baby oil is deceptively named and is mostly mineral oil, with a few additives to soften and protect the skin, and fragrance to cover the aroma of diaper and spit-up. Baby lotion, however, is a whole different story. No, you don't want to know.

Hope you have a good weekend.

So. Who thinks this one will reply?

And do guys really mind the butt-wiggling thing? Really?

1 comment:

  1. Men are annoying. The key is to completely stop caring about them, make a mental note each day to actively ignore them, and whenever possible, glare directly at them. They find this alluring. Seriously. The less time you spend thinking about it the better. Remember, practically no one deserves you, so don't bother looking.
    But then again, taking dating advice from me is a bit, shall we say.... foolhardy?? I should be legally prohibited from even giving it.