Every Six Months

Look! Look! I got prizes!!

I saw my dentist today. Okay, I saw him for maybe 10% of the visit, but I spent good, quality time with the hygienist who works with him. I love her.

You know, darling invisible friend, going to the dentist has never bothered me. I had an awesome dentist as a child, Dr. Dennis Penna, and that really set the tone for my reaction to dental care. Dr. Penna used to call me his little alligator because I opened my mouth soooooooooooooo wide!

No, I do not think this affected my dating life. Can we focus, please?

I do have a fair amount of sympathy for people who fear the dentist. My lovely and talented former coworker Paula had a serious dental phobia. Not long after she started working in my lab, she told me she had a dental appointment and her husband was not going to be able to take her.

That last part, as I recall, blew my mind. Her husband took her to her appointments? In what world? Okay, my point of view might be skewed on this point, as I have never been married, but I have spent a fair amount of time around married people. [Which feels like 95% of the planet. Neither here nor there.] I spent a fair amount of time around my mother as a child, as is evidenced by the number of hours I've spent in therapy, and my mother is married. Hang on, I'm trying to picture my mother asking my father to take her to an appointment.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha!!

Oh, that was good. [sniff] Not as good what I imagine my father would have said in reply....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Anyway. Paula was unable to be taken to her appointment by her delightful husband and needed me to give her a ride. Apparently, she was planning on taking some soothing medication before seeing her dentist. And take medication, she did.

The day of Paula's dental appointment is as blurry in her memory as her eyes were that morning. Blurry and deeply stoned. She walked to my car with the careful gait of a seriously plowed sorority girl and laughed and slept most of the way home.

I'm glad she didn't try to drive herself to the dentist. I'm glad I could help her out and be a friend to her. I'm really, really glad I don't have to go through the same when I have dental appointments.

Did I mention that I got prizes?