Wednesday, June 29, 2011

What are my other options?

Yoga won.


No, no. I'm not really surprised. And I certainly didn't expect to be acclimated to hot yoga in such a short amount of time! That would be ridiculous! What kind of corkbrain would think that???

Okay, maybe I thought it a little. What? Oh, sure. You're so much more realistic, aren't you? Pfft.

Anyway. Hot yoga continues to kick my sizable ass and I'm not loving that. I do recognize that exercise and I have a profound hatred for one another, and I should not expect to coexist cordially with it, but enough is enough. I need to investigate other options.

Many, many people, most of them extremely annoying, have given me the wise suggestion to find "something I like to do" for exercise. These are the same Negative Nellies who poo-pooed my idea of aerobic eating, so I think that should be taken into account when viewing this advice. Oh, and neither a book nor a remote counts as "weight." Horribly unreasonable.

The problem with this clever idea is I don't like exercise in any form. It's icky. Yes, that is the technical term. And when I sweat [because I'm not southern and I do that] my skin gets irritated. The only solution I can come up with is finding an activity I enjoy.

Yes, I realize it's just a different word choice. Work with me.

Most of my activities are sedentary, so unless high-impact knitting becomes a possibility, I'm going to have to find something new. Yes. New. Gah. The difficult thing will finding this new thing. While perusing the Internet, AKA trying to avoid work, I read a little bit about kayaking.

Quit laughing.

Kayaking could be a great activity for me. Lots of upper body work, time in the great outdoors [should that be capitalized?] and enjoying the scenic wonders of the Pacific Northwest. There are, however, a few downsides.

Cost. I could just run out and buy a kayak. And paddles. And "a proper-fitting life jacket (PFD) and helmet, and a spray skirt." Sure. Right after I sell a kidney. And unless the water comes to me, I will have to transport said kayak to whichever lake, river, bay or ocean I plan on paddling around. I promise, that would only be via car. I am not strapping a kayak to a bicycle trailer and pedaling before paddling.

Physical benefit. Sure my upper body would get a whole lot out of propelling myself around Puget Sound in a kayak, but my lower body would be just hanging out. Relatively and/or figuratively speaking, of course.

Proximity. I don't think the puppy wading pool in the backyard is going to hold a kayak. Sooner or later, if I'm going to kayak, I'm going to have to leave the house. Possibly the county.

Fit. Given the pear-on-steroids shape of me, I don't know how easy it would be to find a kayak that would accommodate my derriere. I fear it would be the same quandary that scuba diving presented; where does one find a comfort-fit wetsuit? I haven't seen a lot of plus-sized kayaks, either. And I do want to feel that I would be able to extract my butt from the kayak with very little effort. It's bad enough getting stuck in a dress in a store fitting room. Stuck in a

While the idea of slapping a kayak on the roof of the Volvo and trotting off to the water, paddling around fish and water plants and orcas who magically did not wish to kill me is vastly appealing, I fear it is not my best option.

A dear friend, dear to me despite his almost terrifying fitness, told me I needed to take a different approach to my weight loss quest. He told me to run. Just get out there and run. Run until I threw up. Then run some more. Run!

I think I have to hold out for aerobic eating.


  1. Stop! Just get out of my head. I abhor exercise too. Next time someone tells me about how good they feel after going to the gym, I will punch them (wait, would that count as aerobic exercise?) I have never gotten a post-gym high and am insanely jealous of those that enjoy exercise and have found something they like and can stick to...I so desperately want and need that.
    On the other hand, I bet I could kick their extremely toned asses in aerobic knitting.

  2. hug.

    I know the battle. I despise exercise. Although, you did mention yoga (not hot) and that seems to be clicking with me.

    Knitting isn't a high energy/aerobic sport? WTH?

    My favorite exercise: painting a house in 4 days. Wait, that resulted in agony of joints/tendons.

    Running is good, if your knees can handle it.

    What about a nightly bike ride?

  3. Kayaking may be 'out,' but points for creative thinking. Yay, you. Keep going. Beauty of nature and cooler temperatures count as attractions, apparently. What else about kayaking appeals?

  4. Stop pissing about.
    Get out and RUN!
    It´s not hard, you place one foot infront of the other untill you can´t anymore.
    Then you go alittle further.

    No one likes to run (unless they are from Kenya and weigh like 45 kg,s) it is done because it is the best way to get in shape.

    Ok, so you are unfit? Start running short distances then increase.
    One more mile each week running 5 days a week should do alot.
    When you have reached the level you want to be in you just maintain by running ohh about everyother day or so.

    Be glad you ONLY have to stay current on your runtimes since you don´t have any upperbody strength goals as far as I know?

    Get out and run.
    Never use an elevator again, use the stairs.
    Stop using a chair at work, do Ranger rest. (Same position, minus the chair)
    Walk or run everwhere, too far use a bike.

    It´s not rocketscience, burn more chalories then you put in and eventually the kg,s will come falling off.

    Hot Yoga?! Gimme a break.

    BTW, Thank you for still calling me a friend..haha