Monday, June 6, 2011

It's going to be fine.

Okay, I'm holding on to my relative calm with a weak and shaky grip. I am one sweaty handhold away from getting worked up. But it was only one game. Disastrous, sure. But only one game.

Hello, darling one. I'm so sorry I've been silent, especially during the Stanley Cup finals. But I was on the other coast, visiting the VNP. It was nice, thank you for asking! Sadly, I didn't get to do the things I wanted in terms of museum addiction, but it was nice.

On the up side, VNP recognized the necessity of my watching both of the games that were played while I was there. I believe he enjoyed them, too, almost as much as he enjoyed my reactions to the games.

Evidently, I am entertaining. Roommate has been known to chuckle at me, too, as I watch hockey. I am dimly aware of this and completely unfazed by it. And so long as the dogs are not disturbed, I can squeal and bounce as much as I please.

I heard that.

Anyway. During Game One, Patrice Bergeron of the Boston Bruins and Alexandre Burrows of the Vancouver Canucks had a small disagreement. I know. I was stunned, too. Who'da thunk it? At a hockey game, no less. But really, stranger things have happened. In fact, stranger things happened that very night, during that very discussion.

While being separated by an official, Patrice Bergeron reached around said official and shoved his gloved hand into Alex Burrows mouth. No, he did. He did, too! Look:

This wasn't terrific, but the fact that Patrice went to the officials after the argument was terminated and complained about Alex Burrows biting him was a wee bit ridiculous.

Hey, princess...if you don't want to be bitten, don't put your hand in anyone's mouth.

And he had a freaking hockey glove on! Fer chrissakes. How much of a bite could it be????

During last night's game, plenty of the Bruins were waving fingers and hands in Burrows' face. That's adorable, boys. Really. Tell you what, why not try that with me? As a woman who has spent years building fat through focused and excessive eating, I can show you what a real bite is.

Hey, I'm just happy to be able to help.

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