Thursday, July 15, 2010

Small additions

No, I'm not talking about construction projects. On my last post, some comments were made [yay!!!] and I realized I wanted to add on a few things. Read the previous post first; this won't make sense without it.

Yes, I do too make sense sometimes!!! Sheesh!

Anonymous said...
Your desire is not unreasonable. Also reasonably, I invite you now to consider the other side of the coin:What kind of woman would that kind of man want?I look forward to your thoughts.
July 14, 2010 9:43 AM

All right. I know who made this comment [a dear, dear friend] and I have responded to him directly, but this, I believe, warranted additional commentary.

First, I did tell my dear friend that one of the biggest selling points of this imaginary man was his deep and abiding interest in me. Me. He would delight in me, I believe I wrote. Someone who thinks I'm freaking hilarious. Someone who wants to be faithful to me. Not because he has no other options. Hell, we all have other options. But because of who I am, he wants me.

That's the kind of woman he'd want. A me-kind.

The second point to this is the question that is inherent in this type of statement. It goes as follows:

Lisa Marie, how do you need to change and improve to be worthy of such a man's attention? Obviously, because of your fallibility and bone-deep imperfections, you haven't found this man. Ah, if only you'd lighten up/get serious/be nicer/lose the sarcasm/lose the weight/dress better/cut your hair/grow your hair/put out more/stop being such a slut/go to the right gym/go to the right bars/join the right singles group/be younger/be someone else, you would find this man IMMEDIATELY.

See, this is what I find....well, let's go with troubling. Why would I want to waste my time with anyone who didn't want me, and why am I automatically the factor to be altered in this equation? Yes, yes, I know the only person I can control or change is myself. But seriously, isn't it wiser to pursue the type of person who wants who and what I really am?

And am I really so bad? Let me answer that.

I don't think so.

I'm not a terrible person. I'm kind of funny. I'm a decent cook and baker. I give great massages. I've gone long enough without to appreciate sex when it's available. I can carry on a reasonable conversation. I take responsibility for myself and my feelings....mostly. I'm nice to animals and better than half the people I meet. I can behave appropriately in public. I have no gag reflex.

Really, I'm a freaking catch.


  1. My stomach hurts! And I've commented, when new staff meet you at work...."she warms up, really she does, she's one of my most favorite people around here"! heh heh...gag tummy huuuurts!

  2. "question that is inherent in this type of statement...."
    Ah. I see it now. Sorry. That hadn't been the intention, but I see how it's there, structurally.

  3. I have been catching up & read all of June & July today. The follow-up here is such an important point for ALL less than perfect (which we all are, some just are ignorant/untruthfull about self)but this is a well identified & well dealt with stumbling block. I wish I would have known you when I was going through my divorce!
    (this is mary by the way!) (having trouble posting comments)