Thursday, September 16, 2010

Word to the Moderately Wise

Dating site photos are very often unflattering. They are. Oh, sure, I know plenty of people post the glamour shot pictures or that "one picture that I really, really like/captures the essence of me" on their dating profiles---even if the picture is twenty-five years old and they haven't looked even close to that since the '90s---but so many of the pictures are truly hideous. They're cell phone pictures. They're cropped from a work photo featuring 200 colleagues and are grainy and blurry. They're taken by someone who has my skill level of photography, AKA no skill at all. I really try not to judge a potential date/mate based on his picture. It's not fair. It's not right. And even if the picture is accurate, it's the book-by-its-cover thing. I know I don't like it when someone takes one look at me and can't even be bothered to learn anything about me.

It's only fair to give people a chance. After all, most of the planet isn't mouthwateringly gorgeous. some point I must say, "Gosh, you seem super, but I have a small problem dating a yeti."

I even had gluten-free Jen look at one man's profile and emails. Words like "sweet" and "simple" were used, but even she [possibly one of the nicest people on the planet] had to agree, this fellow made the Geico cavemen look civilized and...well, hot.

She did ask where we'd go on a date, snowshoeing through the Andes? Obviously, GF Jen has been married way too long, because you never travel that far on the first date. If Yeti and I did go out, it would have to be closer to home. Possibly a nearby forest. We could do a little foraging, like pigs for truffles. But the Andes? I don't even know if he'd have all of his shots and tags for international travel. And a kennel for that long a flight...not fun. Not comfortable.

But as usual, I digress.

I feel a little bad, being this judgemental. Not bad enough to stop, but bad.

Oh, my dear invisible friend, my dear fictional reader, I implore you. If you are in a relationship, and nothing too ghastly is occurring there, do what you can to make it work. Do not join me in this morass of single life, this level of hell called dating. In this case, the grass is not greener.

Trust me.


  1. "I feel a little bad, being this judgemental. Not bad enough to stop, but bad."
    Does this mean you feel just bad enough to be able to feel good about yourself for feeling bad?
    I feel bad about offering snarky observations. Maybe I'll start repenting tonight.
    Glad I'm in a relationship where nothing *too* ghastly is occurring.

  2. As per usual I think you have a thoughtprocess that is amusing to watch but I disagree on your conclusion.
    Single life is great stuff.
    I has always been great stuff and will always remain great stuff.

    Now it´s not for YOU, as it isn´t for everyone.
    That noone can disagree with really since that is perception.
    It is however for me.
    I think single life rocks.

    You´ll have to take it for what it is though, just like a relationship it won´t be better then what you put into it yourself.
    Embrace it, go out, get drunk have casual sex and enjoy.
    Hell you ain´t 80 yet. ;-)

    And to the few reading this comment who just stuck their nose in the air over this unpolished nonPC comment.
    Get over yourselves already.

    Live life while you have the chance.

  3. Now I wanna see the picture of the yeti...seriously?

    I really enjoyed dating when I was single...until I started looking for a more time for monkey business!

    there was...
    dude from Queens who was rude to the server (only took one date)

    dude that probably has come out by now and if he hasn' day he will

    dude that wore make-up (yes...he really did)

    dude that kept on confusing me with my sister (long story)

    perpetually inebrated dude

    dude i dated for three months but in the end...nope...I REALLY wasn't ever going to be more than slightly attracted to him

    dude that had a twin that i was more attracted to (realized this after i started dating him)

    there seriously is more....i really did date a lot of frogs.....blah blah blah

  4. You gotta stop looking for Mr. Right and look for Mr. Right Now. If it works out, he may be the one for you in the long run, if not, then you have had fun. No harm no foul.

  5. Mo is hysterical....& tell the truth, if someone took you truffle hunting & happened to enjoy'd marry the yeti in Vegas while sober even...grooming can be taught!