We all have questions, don't we, dearest invisible friend? We all have things we really want to know. Who am I, really? Why am I here? Will I live to see a world at peace? Is there really an Omnipotent Comedian? What the hell is that, stuck on the bottom of my shoe? What's the air velocity of the laden swallow?
Allow to to reassure you, dear one, that I do not have the answers to most of these questions. Oh, sure, I could make something up, but we both know I'd be lying, and what, really, is the point of lying when one knows she is not going to get away with it? Far better to save the lies for something I have an outside chance of pulling off. Sadly, I am a terrible liar. I give it a try now and again, but I suck at it. Anyway....
Some questions can, of course, be answered. Example:
Q: Will my mother ever let up on me?
A: Of course not, you silly cow. Have you been paying attention during the last four decades?
It's nice to have an answer sometimes. Sometimes, one might wish she hadn't asked the question at all, but there we are. There are times when I ask a question and truly hope someone will tell me the answer. Ooo! Let's try asking one of them now!
Why would a man ask me to act stupid? No, really. He did. We were having what I thought was a pleasant enough conversation when out of the blue, this "man" said that after a hard week, he didn't want to be "challenged" by me and asked me, could I act a bit more feminine?
Yes, by all means, take a moment. I know I had to.
When I picked my jaw up off the floor, I asked him if he could define "feminine behavior" in this case. He told me I should act a bit stupid, giggle, smell good and wear short skirts. I can only guess that the hair-twirling was optional.
Yes, I'm serious. And evidently, so was he. Hey, I can't make this stuff up!
It is in moments such as these that I ask far more pertinent questions: What is the end goal of this man, in regards to me? Does he want to date me? Does he hope to find his future life-mate in me? Does he merely want to divest me of my panties? All reasonable goals, really, when one considers it. But does this man think that this behavior will increase his odds at achieving aforementioned goal?
I have no answer.