Monday, November 22, 2010

Joy in Portland

You know how people tell you where to go? No, no. Silly invisible friend. Not that way. One mentions that she's headed to Portland, for example, and if one is very lucky, a flurry of information drifts down on one's head, like happy snowflakes. But warm. And not so wet.

This is what happened to me. After hearing about a little place called Voodoo Doughnut, I had to go. And you know...they're correct. Good things do come in pink boxes. Heh.

This, for example:

This is the Dirty Old Bastard. On top of an insanely fresh chocolate doughnut, crushed Oreos and peanut butter drizzled resides. Or it did. Now, it's hanging out in my cellulite, with plenty of little friends.

Voodoo Doughnut also makes incredible apple fritters, a tropical delight called Mango Tango, a maple bar with BACON, yes, BACON, and countless other delicious treats. My favorite, however, is this gift from heaven:

It's called the Cock & Balls. It's a huge, light, raised set of doughnuts, slathered in chocolate and [naturally] filled with cream. It took me two days, but I ate it all.

Yes, I did.


  1. *salivating*

    I heard about this place. Can they ship to NY?

  2. Now we are getting to the core of the problem..
    No wonder you can´t find a decent man if it takes you acouple of days to take care of a cock and a couple of balls.

    The poor guy would have to bring a Ranger ration to bed with him...

  3. So, their marketing department decided that their target consumer group was so emphatically *not* heterosexual males that they decided to invent a pastry which even the most secure-in-his-masculinity straight guy would decline, even if his capacity for irony surpassed David Letterman's?
    "We wanted the gay men and straight women to know we're here for them," they explain in their niche-market strategy statement.
    Maybe they thought donuts were .... nevermind.

  4. dying of laughter saved that cock and balls one for the finale....perfect! my stomach hurts.

  5. I've now officially peed my pants!! Thanks Lisa!!
    Sheesh. And I demand to be taken on your next road trip. Perhaps I should have omitted the peed pants reference prior to insisting on riding in your car??

  6. You know, I'm still stuck on the phrase "good things come in pink boxes."